From the Ground Up

I've been quiet for quite a while now (who knew I could do that?) because I truthfully haven't had much to say.  But things have been going on.  I've started my new job and its really kind of awesome.  I've continued to lose weight, still at a slow pace, but that's what I'm going for, I never want to see those pounds again!  And I've been undergoing physical therapy to treat this silly injury that you've all heard more than enough about.

Out of all these developments, its the physical therapy that has made the biggest impact on me.  When I went for my initial evaluation, I was told nothing about the way my body is reacting right now is right.  I don't even stand right.  I doubted statement until presented with the evidence and well, my PT was right.  My running problems started literally under my feet.  

Upon further reflection, I've realized that I didn't only need a physical makeover starting at the soles of my feet, I needed a mental one.  

I hate to say it, but I think for the last year I've been running for the wrong reasons.  I started this blog about nine months ago, hawking it as a chronicle of my journey of healthy living.  But in retrospect I see race this, race that, training, training, training, race, race, race.  Do I enjoy training for and running races?  Absolutely.  But lately my training (even thinking about it, since my training is confined to bike and pool for now) has turned into a chore and an exercise in frustration.  I force myself out to pound out x number of miles and when I find I don't keep the pace I think I should or the pace I used to I get upset, I push to hard, make myself miserable and sometimes (often, now) I end up hurting myself.  

I'm not saying I want it to be easy.  I expect this sport to be hard.  I expect to need to force myself out the door some days and I honestly believe those runs you don't want to do are some of the most important.  This is a sport about dedication and discipline just as much as community and fun.  I want the whole package back and I think I'm starting to get there again.

Memorial Day weekend I walked (almost every darn step) of the Beverly Ridge Run with two friends (one injured, one pregnant) and we had a great time.  It wasn't a huge accomplishment or anything of the sort but I very much needed that race to refocus myself.

My body is being fixed, bit by bit, from the ground up.  At the same time, I am working on my mind.  I hope that by the time I'm physically ready to run again I'll be mentally ready as well.