Out of all these developments, its the physical therapy that has made the biggest impact on me. When I went for my initial evaluation, I was told nothing about the way my body is reacting right now is right. I don't even stand right. I doubted statement until presented with the evidence and well, my PT was right. My running problems started literally under my feet.
Upon further reflection, I've realized that I didn't only need a physical makeover starting at the soles of my feet, I needed a mental one.
I hate to say it, but I think for the last year I've been running for the wrong reasons. I started this blog about nine months ago, hawking it as a chronicle of my journey of healthy living. But in retrospect I see race this, race that, training, training, training, race, race, race. Do I enjoy training for and running races? Absolutely. But lately my training (even thinking about it, since my training is confined to bike and pool for now) has turned into a chore and an exercise in frustration. I force myself out to pound out x number of miles and when I find I don't keep the pace I think I should or the pace I used to I get upset, I push to hard, make myself miserable and sometimes (often, now) I end up hurting myself.
I'm not saying I want it to be easy. I expect this sport to be hard. I expect to need to force myself out the door some days and I honestly believe those runs you don't want to do are some of the most important. This is a sport about dedication and discipline just as much as community and fun. I want the whole package back and I think I'm starting to get there again.
Memorial Day weekend I walked (almost every darn step) of the Beverly Ridge Run with two friends (one injured, one pregnant) and we had a great time. It wasn't a huge accomplishment or anything of the sort but I very much needed that race to refocus myself.
My body is being fixed, bit by bit, from the ground up. At the same time, I am working on my mind. I hope that by the time I'm physically ready to run again I'll be mentally ready as well.